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Masked vigilante

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mask on, and my glasses fogs up every time I exhale. Take the mask off and I can barely breathe. Welcome to the world of 196 index.
I just entered centre KL and shit's crazy, man. Looks like an apocalyptic movie scene. Gear up for a zombie attack, loves. In this fog, those bastards could be anywhere.

An old new someone

Monday, June 17, 2013

I received a surprise earlier today.
Don't know if it's a good one or not.
I'm still too stunned to absorb this.
A guy i briefly knew about a year and a half ago suddenly sent a message they whatsapp. We weren't exactly friends, to think of it I don't know what we were. Acquaintances? No not really. More like 2 strangers who briefly met and shared something. A month? Can't really remember. Anyway, we kinda lost contact back then and after a while i accepted the fact that he was one of those random people you meet for a while, never to be seen again.
We shared some really weird stuff... Not exactly pleasant, not exactly 'right', and truth be told i was kinda relieved that we shared no personal information or became better friends. I won't say he was bad influence, but let's just say he brought out a side of me that i don't really fancy. No no not of the illegal sort, you know I don't swing that way. Just... Not healthy lah.
Anyway, he's back. I don't know what to feel about that. I liked him enough to be friends with him but after resigning to the fact that he was forever gone, him resurfacing Is just messing with my head.
Wty are you here?

King Koopa

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Aku ni kasar. Tapi hati aku lembut.

Aku nampak gila ranggi. Tapi sebenarnya boleh tahan jugak feminin. Tak tunjuk selalu je.

Ada gak orang kata aku ni confusing. 
Ada yang panggil aku Chameleon pasal fashion sense aku agak ikut sukati kepala hotak aku.
Kengkadang aku dress up dengan attire corporate yang buat PR manager syarikat aku pun tergamam. Heels 6 inci, office workdress, siap jacket blazer bagai.
Then, the next day mungkin aku dengan selamba pakai jeans, kemeja riang ria dengan Fedora atas kepala. Suka hati aku. Macam syarikat ini aku yang punya (macam aje).

Memang suka hati aku. 

Aku rajin pakai sneakers pegi keje. Aku suka Airwalk. Kengkadang hijau, biru, pink kilat-kilat pun ada. PR opis aku selalu macam kena minor cardiac hiccup bila dia nampak aku pakai sneakers. Dia tak faham apasal aku takleh pakai heels ngan baju kerja macam orang lain.

Jawapan aku: Creative License. 

Sebab aku kerja bawah bahagian Kreatif, kitorang ada macam unwritten leeway lah sket bab-bab ni. Tapi aku rasa aku pompuan yang paling sempoi (atau selekeh, ikut persepsi korang). Ade je kawan designer aku pegi keluar keje bank, skang ni masuk balik, dah berhijrah pakai baju syariah compliance je manjang. Sungguh segak. And by syariah aku maksudkan proper corporate attire dengan buttoned up jackets slacks bagai hehe. Aku je nama pernah keje kat a true blue corporate company setahun. Masuk balik dunia writing, jahanammmmmmm hahaha. (Tapi so far belum kembali ke sweater hoodie atau t-shirt. Tu keji sangat)  


Hahahah. Sukati aku je kan.
Umur dah 31 tapi perangai masih macam 23. 
Kalaulah muka pun kekal 23. 

Aku rasa janggal bila aku, berpakaian sneakers lenjan, jeans buruk, dengan kemeja riang-ria dan berambut senget ni kena panggil 'akak' oleh cashier kedai. Oh tua nya. 

Itu je aku nak cakap. Post ni takde perenggan penutup. Sila buat andaian sendiri.

Bwahahahaah.

Revisiting an old memory

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Kalil terakhir aku cakap dengan dia, Januari lepas. Selalunya jumpa sahaja untuk melepak, tapi dia berada di Kuantan pada masa itu dan dia mahu borak. Mula rancak di whatsapp tapi dia asyik ajak berbual melalui panggilan. Aku bergurau, kau rindu kat suara aku ya. Dia gelakkan saja, tapi masih berkeras mahu berbual langsung. Maka dari zap kami beralih ke panggilan.

Macam-macam kami bualkan. Gelak berdekah-dekah. Jarang berbual di telefon membuat aku terasa sedikit kekok, tapi lama kelamaan aku beransur ok, dan sama kuat menyakat. Borak pasal muzik, pasal makanan, pasal keluarga, pasal kehilangan...

Dia bercerita tentang pemergian bapanya... Saat-saat terakhir mereka bersama. Ada kerapuhan dalam suaranya... Sesuatu yang tak pernah diperlihatkannya sepanjang persahabatan kami. Malam itu seperti malam revelasi.. Kami bercerita tentang impian-impian bodoh dan mimpi-mimpi siang hari. Semuanya bagai tak mustahil. Jangan risau, katanya pada aku. Rezeki itu akan datang, katanya optimis. Jangan putus harap, katanya.

Perbualan 4 jam, satu malam itu rasanya lebih peribadi dari sebarang sesi lepak sua muka kami selama itu. Aku juga rasa, di hati kecil aku, yang dia seperti ada sesuatu yang nak dinyatakan tapi tak terlafaz. Waktu itu aku rasa mungkin sekadar perasaan aku, jadi aku ketepikan. 

Orang selalu kata, trust your gut instinct.

Dia menghilang. Memang aku tak tahu ke mana, di mana, dan apa yang sudah jadi. Hidup atau mati, susah atau senang... Mesej tak bebalas, panggilan tak berjawab. Dia seperti tersejat ke udara. Not even a trace.  

Aku tak tahu mengapa dia hilang begitu sahaja. Aku rasa dia dah bersedia untuk pergi, cuma mungkin lebih mudah untuk berlalu tanpa menyatakan goodbye. Mungkin. 

Tipu kalau aku kata aku tak sedih. Setiap kawan ada nilainya tersendiri. Dia seseorang yang muncul dalam fasa transisi kehidupan aku, dia kawan yang tiba paralel dengan saat cambah kematangan aku. Sungguh, aku sayu dia hilang begitu sahaja. Tapi aku tak mahu sedih lama kerana dengan dia aku gembira. Kenapa perlu bersedih, bukan?


Orang selalu kata, people come into your life for reasons. Sometimes unknown, but never for no reason. 

Memang betul. 

Dalam tempoh yang agak singkat, dia mengajar aku mengenali sisi baru diri aku. Benda-benda kecil yang aku tak tahu, mula nampak. Aku jumpa satu keberanian membuka diri pada kebarangkalian berbeza, dia membuat aku mula faham perkara yang samar. Banyak juga yang kabur-kabur tentang persahabatan kami, tapi setidaknya aku celik sedikit dari sebelumnya. 

Kadang-kadang, macam sekarang, aku terfikir pasal dia. 
Kalau dia masih hidup, aku doakan dia bahagia. Bisnesnya berjalan lancar seperti yang diharap, hidup bahagia, keluarga pun terjaga. Jika dia hilang kerana pulang menghadap ilahi, aku doakan dia tenang. 

Aku bayangkan, satu hari aku akan dapat jumpa dia semula. Kau tahu, macam akhir cerita Batman tu. Mungkin duduk di cafe, aku nampak dia di meja hujung, sedang dengan kasual makan atau berbual dengan isteri dan anak-anak. Dan aku, dari jauh, menangkap anak matanya. Buat bebrapa saat pandangan kami bertemu, dan dari kejauhan itu mata aku akan menzahirkan rasa gembira aku melihat dia elok dan bahagia. Bertukar senyuman pantas. Aku akan berlalu dengan senyuman masih di bibir. Aku tak perlu menegur. Dia tak perlu membuka bicara. Cukup sekadar aku tahu dia ay-okay.

Mungkin. Satu hari nanti. Insyaallah.

Dem green thingies

Monday, June 03, 2013

In my fight against turning into the female version of the Michelin mascot, I've accidentally discovered  the wonders of green juices/ smoothies. Okay, okay, it wasn't purely accidental. I've heard about juicing for quite some time but never really bothered. The juice counters you find at the malls charge an arm and a leg for a cup of freshly squeezed juices. And then they add those protein shakes thingies that my friends are addicted to... 'energy booster'. Yeah right, protein powder taken by people who do nothing but sit in front of the computer = kilang menternak lemak! Stop being duped, people! Don't say "Alah tambah singgit dua je dapat yang sedap tu... juice biasa boring and tak berbaloi beli at this price." That's what they want you to think!

Since I refuse to be lured into this evil plot of overcharged fruit juices and frosties (not a fan of fraps either), and since I wasn't about to spend a few hundred buying juicers that I might or might not use diligently, I simply stuck with eating the fruits instead. Easier, yummier and cheaper. 

Until... Pinterest converted me.

So there's this lady who pinned about "Green Smoothies",  a mixture of greens and fruits blended into a fine pulpy juice. Since I'm all for exotic (read= weird) food and drinks involving an absurd amount of veggie, I gave the idea a coupla reads (brief reads, i'm impatient) and decided to just dive head first into the whole thing. 

The result: AWESOME!


The tip is to put the softer items first, then the harder ones. So leafy greens or bananas go to the bottom, then oranges, then only apples or carrots. Here you see a mixture of pegaga and mint with oranges and plain water. These items were from the fridge so I get an instant cold green slushie!




I find frozen strawberries yucky. Do not freeze then -- do not! Rasa bangang. 
Raspberry tastes better, even grapes but you need to halve them first before freezing or they'll get as hard as ice (I use a cheap blender)



This is red & green apples - cucumber - parsley - purple spinach - orange. Nais oso. Don't forget a little bit of water for lubrication.



When I feel like cheating-- aka using boxed juice as the lubricator / base. 



Inilah hasilnya! Sedap yooooooooo



What now?

It was very quiet. Time stood still. Well, it didn't, for that would be impossible but it sure felt like it. As he stepped to the window sill and peered at the source of the commotion outside, it sure felt like time stood still.

His heart skipped a few beats.
His equilibrium went awry.
His brain screamed alarm yet nothing came out of his mouth.

Outside, a body lay mangled on the road, flung carelessly next to the wreck of what was a car a few minutes ago.

His hand, now clammy, grabbed the ledge. He barely felt the chalky flakes of the sill paint sticking to his palms, his nails dug into the wood, and splinters pierced his fingers. He felt nothing. He was in a trance. Time has stopped.

Blood blossomed on the road, it creeped, creating a living vein of crimson that travelled through the pebbles, stopping only when it hits the pavement.

He knew he should go out. And do what, he is gone!, his brain screamed.
Well, something. Anything!, said the voice in his heart. I must!

And so, without so much of an effort,  he flew out of the window, glided his way lightly to the scene of disaster. As he flew over the wreck, he glanced at the other body, trapped in the twisted iron. The driver moved a little, blood trickling from the temple and nose. She will live, he thought. Better move on to more pressing matters such as the limp body lying face down in a puddle a few metres away.

Gracefully, he landed next to the body. The light glow from his ethereal body bounced off the still form. Slowly, he lifted his left hand and made a small circle with his index finger.

Magically, the body began to levitate... a slow, steady rise, rotating, until it floated slowly down on the ground. No sound, no sign of life. The body in front of him is dead. 

He was flabbergasted. 
The upturned face was no stranger to him. The dead eyes staring at him was eerily familiar.

He was looking at his own body.

Fuck. What now?