Pen, paper and a loaded gun

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I've hit a wall again.

That wall I thought I had cleared myself off early last year. It's back, and this time it is taller than ever. No way around it as well.

You know, once in a while you will come to a point where you become static and stagnant. If you are lucky, you will realize that it is time to change your views and practices, and to seek new experiences that might spur your soul back to productivity.

I guess I was lucky last year for getting such wake up call. When I decided to plunge headfirst into a new world, I thought, why not move to a world that is more 'mature', more adult, more reliable. Stop being a bum and for once do the right thing an adult would do.

I told myself to start afresh. I must be open and I must give the new environment a chance. I shall not compare my comfy old world with the new, unknown word and I must persevere. Even if things get hard, I will see it as a learning experience and an enrichment process.

I promised myself a year. One year of patience, postitivity and optimistic outlook. I did just that.

It's almost a year.

No, it's not that bad. It's actually quite enlightening. It has unearthed a different side of me, and I had the chance to do so many things that I did not think I could do before. I also found some major shortcomings from my side... being in a new dimension often project new things... or in this case old habits that I did not know existed. This new world has also opened certain doors for me. Alhamdulillah the move brought many positive changes in both my personal and work life.

But is it fulfilling? Am I passionate about it? Is this the food for my soul?
That, I'm not too sure.

What I do know is that I feel a big decision is coming soon.

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