Someone questioned the reason why I do not voice out my opinions on the state of rotness that we live in. How I could say 'I reserve my comments' when pursued about our biased, propaganda-lined government, on how most Malaysians have been Pavlovified into believing that everything is peachy and will continue to be peachy for the next millenia as long as Barisan Nasional helms the country.
The moment I said well, we're not that bad compared to other countries, he raised his eyebrow and immediately I saw that he had made up his mind about where I stand on the issues, and thus have automatically lumped me in the group of 'worthless Malaysian scum'.
It was a rather interesting experience, you know, watching yourself be stereotyped in such way. So often we stereotype people without actually being aware of commiting such crime. Being at the recieving end is not so amusing after all, one can only do 2 things about it: deny the asumption and straighten things out, or stay silent and let the assumption takes it course. In my case I chose to do the latter, although it does sound like I'm condemning myself, I knew that if I were to argue it out I'd lose the battle. One should know when to pursue a fight, and when to step back and collect more artillery for the next assult. Besides, I'll survive.
But that's not the point I'm getting at.
What I'm trying to say is,
in this world we live in, there are people who are made to be the frontliners, there are those in the centre that battles the big fields, there are minions who slave without really going to battle and there are leaders and thinkers that does the planning, the cunning plot and plimps, the one that plays chess with the fate of the world. So where do I stand in this picture?
I am like the poet that sits in a dark tavern, wiling away the hours with a pen, a scrap paper and a mug of ale. I look rather oblivious to sufferings of the world, as if nothing moves me except the world that I have so flourishly build in my mind. Once in a while I'd come out of hiding to present a piece of entertainment that would cater to the merryment of others. Then later, back to being the bastard (or bitch) that I am, not caring, not fighting, a coward.
Fact is, people like me are not oblivious to the facts of the damning world, but rather, we are too attuned to it that it saps our strength to simply be in it. Everytime we walk the streets, we see how perjury is committed in every court you rule, how intimidation and fear are being bred in the society sprouted form the likes of the ruling party and the opposition, we see how in the end, all of these worldly things mean nothing to the soul but an empty fight we're losing fast... and most of all, our hearts break everytime we are accosted with the suffering of every homeless child, every oppressed group, every victim of misdeed, every life taken away by the war you juxtaposed as necessary for freedom (of every single thing bonding us, I suppose) and it is the kind of break that you cannot heal, even with the toughest, badass glue available on earth: faith.
So you see,
I will let you be the leaders and the frontliners. You have more courage to go out and change this world, you have more skills and suave, you are equipt with a mind that is intelligent and fast and wit that extends beyond the normal proles. You crave for what you call the balance, justice, freedom, wealth, which in actuality means power. The power to give, to take, to recieve and to divulge. It will make you the same as those you so openly despised, for there will be others that will rise against the injustice that comes with ruling, still when the day comes for you to step up the throne we pray you will not stray from your speech of promised righteousness. We have seen too many burned by their own worldly sins, and chances are so shall you, but then again, what do I know of politics and such, I am but a mere coward, holed up and ignorant.
Let me and my kind be.
For once in a while, when you're weary of the exhausting world you live in, when the lethargy of your war against your scums get the better of you, come to us. Lose yourself in our circus of 'plays' and 'seranades' and our colourful antics. Let us be your muse for a while. Let us show you a world beyond the obvious. Although we, when in our darkness might see the glass half empty, on premiere nights we shine up your town and take you on an route that defies all logic and reason. We are what you call your entertainment, the escapade you seek, the break in your strenuous life.
You seek to change the world with your strong words and lances and swords via viva la revolution, while we change it in our own way: burst of colours across the constallation that brings joy to the masses. It might last all night, maybe only an hour or two, but it dazes the adults so they forget their worries, and the plant hope and dreams in the hearts of the children watching.
Sit for a while and think, are people like me truly despensable?