Yes, I am so engrossed with procrastinating things that I have actually become a slave to it. Who is stupid enough to let their hobby pull them around with a ring thru the nose? Yes, I am that pitiful bitch.
You see, to me putting things off is my way of being rebellious, in a nice way. I could tell people to eff themselves, or to wreak havoc, or burn buildings or something when I am wronged or when something doesn't bode well with me, but that is not so plausable. I was born a responsible person, or even if I wasn't, I have been mould into an obedient person throughout my childhood and it's stuck to me.
I mean, do you know anyone else who:
- never had any dimerits in school
- only had to stand on their chair once in school, and that wasn't their fault
- cruised through university without even one saman from the ever-annoying overzealous pak guard
- feels guilty if she crosses the road when the walking light is still red
-almost never cut queues
- has always done what her parents expected of her?
Who who who?
Okay, maybe I'm stretching the last point a little too thin. I'm sure my mother and father are pretty dissatisfied with me throughout my 29 years of living with them, and I'm sure growing up I was a pain in the ass but I never really crossed any major borderlines with them, y'know. I think, the worst thing I possibly ever did was probably flunk my Arab classes, and shaving the sides of my head when I was in Form 3. Tu je.
So after all of these being nice and obedient, I have no inkling on how to actually pull of shits. Oh sure I know the methods to being a jerk or an obtuse biatch but the thing is I DONT KNOW HOW TO BRING MYSELF to do them. I'm too goverened by my fear of disappointing my parents, fear of screwing up my future, fear of abolishing my hard-earned respect (pttuuiiiii!) and most of all, I am just being me.
So what do I do when I feel like going a little south in my mind?
The most subliminal form of rebellion.
Like, how I'm putting off going to driving classes and getting a licence.
How I'm pretending that renovating my pad into a liveable place is not that important.
How not paying bills on time is not that big of a deal.
And how I'm pretending as if the article my boss asked me to write is not due until next year.
I hope my boss is not reading this.
If she is, daammmmnnnnnnnnnnnn!