Beware of the monster they call "ubat batuk"

Monday, June 01, 2009

Me want kook-kieee!
Maaf moster ubat batuk tidak sechomel ini.

This happened quite some time ago... or maybe it happened recently, I can't really tell. Tak ingatlah. Let me just flag a big 'I'm On Ubat Batuk' sign here, so I can't be solely blamed should this post end up merepek. 

Although I AM risking big time typos and useless info by actually attempting to write a post under the influence of the ol’ trusty expectorant…. Hmm…


For someone who has been loading herself with steroids since she was 11, you’d think that I’m kebal from kid’s stuff like cough syrups. You’re almost right – most syrups/drops sold in shops & pharmacies have no side effects on me, but there’s this particular expectorant that makes me a bit wonky, if you know what I mean. Since I'm asthmatic, i've been advice to only take expectorants for coughs/phlegm issues.   

Trust me when I say that

Expectorant, combined with Zirtec or flu tablets = utter madness. 

Ceritanya begini:

So there I was, sitting in the LRT sometime around 10pm, on my way home. I took two spoons of expectorant and two Bisolvans earlier in hopes that it would help me rid myself of my never-ending stock of phlegm (you’d think I have a phlegm factory on overtime in my lungs). I also took one Zirtec after a few rashes started to form on my hands (after effects of orang degil nak makan udang jugak), so I was a bit ting tong lah.

Now normally, if I get a seat, I’d lean my head on the glass panel and try to sleep lightly, but entah apa pasal that night I didn’t want to. I kept having this image of me snoring away in the train – oh, the most horrible sight to behold – pity the commuters, one whole day of crap at work and they’d have to tolerate my orkestra dengkur on the train. I don’t really know if I had ever snored on my trips before, but my Sleep Apnea-phobic was on high alert so I told myself that I was not going to sleep. 

No sleeping in the train. No, don’t close my eyes. Okay, less winking might work, well actually it only emphasized the drowsiness but I am going to win this battle! I must win this battle and not sleep like an idiot, not when there’s a cute guy standing right in front of me, loook at his shirt, it has a cute puppy on it and why are there suddenly two puppies? Am I drifting, NO! -

I took my phone out and started surfing the net. That should do the trick.

Facebook lah kejap.

As I was checking out a friend’s page, a particular comment stopped me in my tracks. It was from a guy I met at this poetry-reading event, and he caught my eyes dari awal sampai habis event tu sebenarnya. I remember him looking kinda gruff, long messy raven hair, a plain white T and blue jeans, Adidas sneakers that was as dirty as mine. Alahai cute nye!

(Well, we didn’t actually meet, we weren’t introduced pun. Tapi I know him lah)

Normally I would just smile (hati kembang whatever) when I see someone ehem-ehem! on the net, but somehow, malam tu, amidst the fuzziness came this calling of sorts: I had to do something. Entah ape punya bravado lah yang hit me in the head and suddenly I had this brilliant idea: 
(well, it was brilliant lah at that time):

I should leave a message at his page! I really should!

I’d usually brush away any silly ideas, like actually making the first move. I am a cowardly coward cowardess when it comes to these things - I have never admitted my crushes to anybody, not even my siblings. Sure, I had a few infatuations and lesser serious-jatuh-cinta-dalam-diam, but never have I shared any info on mr-currently-cinta-hati with anybody, well, not voluntarily lah. Apatah lagi dengan orang tu sendiri kan.

I don’t know what came to me, but I decided after mulling on it for a full 4 seconds, that messaging him was the rightest, most awesomest thing to do.

So I clicked on his name and wrote him a message.

After typing it, I hit send, exited the browser. I was so proud of myself, I’m sure I had the Jack Nicholson grin on my face all the way home. I felt like a billion bucks!

Until the next day, that is.

Esoknya I went to the office earlier than usual, with no recollection whatsoever of what I did the night before. I was there around 7 something, so I had ample time to surf the net and check comments on my blog. While waiting for some emails to open, I pressed Apple+T and typed

Immediately, I noticed that my inbox had 1 message. Hmmm… who could it be…

Clickety click---->  re: Hello!

From XXXX!

XXXX, crush aku tu?! WTH would he suddenly message me? Apakah ini? Apakah keceriaan indah yang membuka hari ku di pejabat oh gile sweaty palms dan hati berbunga terus tekan tajuk mesej dan-

Terus kecundang ibarat kapal terbang perang British kena tembak dengan Jap fighter planes.

His message read:

“Hello, Saya rasa kamu tersilap hantar mesej ni pada saya kot. It feels a bit creepy, mesej kamu ni, I have never been hit with slang macam ni. 

Kamu okay ke? Saya rasa macam kenal tak kenal je lah… Kamu siapa ek? 

Thanks anyway for the ‘pujian’, I think. Bye.”

Mau tak tersembul bijik mata!

I scrolled down the page and lo and behold, my message appeared (dah nak heart attack dah masa baca ni):

Dunno if you still remember me, but I sure do remember you. Hit me up if you got some free time, we could get a cuppa and chill, yo. (or you could talk and I could just listen hehe).

Gimme a buzz, and by the way, your hair’s looking the shitz!”

Also present were some merepek Emoticons.

Your hair's looking the shitz?
Get a cuppa and chill, yo?


It took me quite some time to figure out what happened the night before, although I still, until now, have no idea why I actually typed the message.

Pengajarannye adik-adik, is that when you’re high on ubat batuk, you might just say out loud or act on whatever you’ve got playing in your head.

Ubat batuk tu jadi moster yang chomp chomp chomp semua rationality dan merubah kita menjadi people with no inhibitions.

So the next time you reach for some expectorant, expect the worst.


p/s: of course I didn’t reply the message! Kau nak mampus?


roxychick said...

omg!! apakah??


azyze gomez said...

aku pun omg juga memikirkan what posessed me to actually tulis balik kejadian ni dalam blog.
omg kan?

Amers. said...


Naaa shitz, wudda im talkin' bout?

Rindu kamu lah. Haha.

Cik Puan Muda Stress said...


azyze gomez said...

Big up, y'all!
Rindu ye? Hanya Kanye West yang boleh rindu saya hahahahaha

(hmmm mungkin sebab itu saya tertiba bila tongtong tulis slanga gitu, kan? Hmmmm)

Cik PMS:
and other expletives as well.

4u2wonder said...

omg...!!!!! ure shittin me??!!
hehhe... owh no k.yana....!!! i dunno if i shud cry or laugh or... or.. dunno.......for you...

i'm flabbergasted by uh... dunno... my mental lexicon cant search fr da right word now...

katya said...



school of thoughts said...

this is funny. really. funny... wahahalalalalaajkajjajajakaj... see... i laugh like mad...

azyze gomez said...

sudah. sudah. dan jangan tanya aku pasal ni when you come back kang!

aku dah tahap tepuk dahi lima nam kali dah Radz, hehe.

Bagus, ko memang kena gelak banyak2 sikit nowadays.... walaupun at my expanse, aku tak kesah :)

mizzyN said...

amalkan lagi ubat2 ngantuk tu, you can do alien taraf aktiviti bila insane, contoh cam masa marah, in my case ngantuk and masa dah kurang sabar.

The day has come, ko pecah tradisi mesej the other party u r interested in.