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Sunday, November 18, 2007

A walk on the beach
Watching old couples dancing away the night
Listening to my friend talking to her little baby boy on the phone.

They just evoke feelings I wish I don't have.

I miss him.
Eventhough we have never done anything like that.


I feel so alone sometimes.
And I have a feeling that I will be like this forever, destined to always be happy for people, but not for myself.

I fear I will never found that one person.
Never have a chance to know what it feels like to have a family of my own. To coo at my own baby. To laugh, cry, argue with and love another entity that is a part of me. To have someone I can call my own.
I just-
I don't know.
I don't know what is wrong with me.

I don't know.

12 comments:

Bailey said...

i understand.

umur2 kita ni specially, mmg org kata, dh patut pun berkeluarga.

btw, girl, who do u miss? *wink2*

smlm kat nandos klcc, ada anak mat salleh, pandang aku sambil tersengih2 and lambai2 kat aku. comel sgt. aihh...bile aku nak ada anak jgk ni?

My name starts with M said...

faham sgt... coz i have that same feeling too...

so at least u're not alone :D

azyze gomez said...

Sigh...

Sebenarnya aku taks uka tulis benda2 camni kat blog. Habislah kehebatan dan kejelitaan aku dipangkah perasaan gundah dasyat.

Tapi terpaksalah. Tak ada ruang lain.

Thanks girls for understanding....

roxychick said...

don't la sad-sad...
takpe le if your kehebatan and kejelitaan dipangkah perasaan gundah dahsyat pon.

orang hitam ka, orang coklat ka, orang biru ka..
kitakan orang malaysia...

Anonymous said...

ely..tetiba mlm ni aku teringin nk baca blog ko..well, i like this 1 coz we are in da same boat.. wondering whether da happiness is on our side or not. but no matter wut, i always believe..ajal, maut, jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan.. da time will come.. :)- AIDA ADVERT

Anonymous said...

ely..tetiba mlm ni aku teringin nk baca blog ko..well, i like this 1 coz we are in da same boat.. wondering whether da happiness is on our side or not. but no matter wut, i always believe..ajal, maut, jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan.. da time will come.. :)- AIDA ADVERT

Anonymous said...

ely..tetiba mlm ni aku teringin nk baca blog ko..well, i like this 1 coz we are in da same boat.. wondering whether da happiness is on our side or not. but no matter wut, i always believe..ajal, maut, jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan.. da time will come.. :)- AIDA ADVERT

azyze gomez said...

Hi Aida, thanks for dropping by :)
Blog aku tak glemer, haha.

Ya, it seems that a lot of us feels the same way. Especially dengan orang yang single nowadays, keadaan kita memaksa kita menjadi workaholic, and that makes it more impossible to socialize, apatah lagi la nak cari cinta. Tapi, you know.... sapa taknak ada pasangan?

insyaallah, Aida, insyaallah. Aku berdoa pada tuhan...

:)

Tini said...

owh Ely, apapun yg ko rasa.. aku tetap rasakan there is a guy out there yg begitu menyanjungi ko, menyanyangi ko.. tapi dia belum berani nak berterus-terang dgn ko.. belum tiba masanya lagi.. trust me..

azyze gomez said...

Oh tini,
if only that's true..

insyaallah...
tapi jangan lah aku dah mati kang baru nak mengaku. you know how those movies selalu tunjuk, orang tu dah mati eksiden or something, baru la ade yang nak buat statement "kenapalah aku tak bagitau dia yang aku sayang/suka/cintakan dia... and now she's gone forever..."

kalau dah mati iols tak boleh buat ape dah uols... bagitau sekarang, cepat!!

..::ciaobella::.. said...

yup..sometimes d 'i dnt noe' feeling just eats us up alive ehk? dnt u think?-yaya advert..kwn aida pr..pengapit :) hehe

azyze gomez said...

Hi Yaya,

Thanks for dropping by :) aik, jauh you jumpa posting nih... tahun lepas punya nih... hehehe

kalau rajin singgah la selalu, kongsi cerita & pandangan.

;)

dan untuk soalan anda - jawapannya ya.