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Malay, Muslim, Islam

Friday, August 25, 2006

Today, I'm going to talk about something that has always been close to my heart, but seldom speak of.
Let's talk about religion.

I am a Malay. I am a Muslim.
Really? you ask.
Can I prove that?
At one look, it's pretty hard to. (And that's not good. I know.)
I don't cover my head, I laugh loudly, I sometimes wear skirts, I hug some male friends when we meet, I have seen porn, I understand cynical sex jokes, I missed my prayers, I sometimes answer back to my parents.

Sure, I don't do all the major sins. I don't drink, I don't eat pork, I don't rob, rape or kill. I believe in abstinence. I have never doubted the Rukun Islam & Rukun Iman, and I've never felt like leaving Islam for a more 'liberal' religion.
(Note to self: The 'small' dosa counts. Remember.)

I am not a zealous alim person, and I have done things that I am ashamed of. But I strive to be better. Alhamdulillah, Allah still loves me. I feel his compassion everyday. Sometimes I envy those who have seen the ultimate light, the whole picture. We might laugh at their purdahs, their long long janggut , but we have to wonder the level of faith they have. The obedience, the determination, their way of life that never compromises god - I am always in awe. I know that i should try harder. I'm sure that god willing, I'll one day be there. I'll one day fully understand everything.

Despite of all that, I must say that I am a bit sensitive whenever people question my dedication to Islam and Allah. Like, when people question why I don't wear tudung. Or why I fast every Ramadhan witout fail but selalu tinggal sembahyang. Sensitif tak bertempat, says mak. It must be the rebel in me. I haven't completed my transition into adulthood yet, I guess. ( I know, that is soo NOT a valid reason)

Hold on. I'm speaking doublethink. Are you still following me?
(Bagi yang tak tau doublethink, pi carik 1984 tulisan George Orwell.)

Anyway, it seems that I'm not the only one who's sensitive about my creed. On a different P.O.V, though.

The whole world seems to be acting in a sort of frenzy whenever Islam is mentioned. And with the recent murtad cases, things are so hot it's burning. It's like everyone's having wedgies up their ass that they can't park right.

Everyone's getting edgy when it comes to religion, and more and more people are debating and acting crazily on this. At the rate things are going, I'm not surprised if we'd resolve to announcing religious discussions / mentions as a public taboo.

Hey, I'm also saddened by the current apostasy hype. It's a sad, sad thing that more and more muslim's are denouncing Islam and adopting other faiths, but that's nothing to the overbearing responses we're getting from the non-muslims. Dia pulak lebih-lebih. That's not right, innit?

I think that as an individual, each of us has a right to chose our own religion and faith. I was born a Muslim and I choose to stay a Muslim. If someone were to say "I don't believe in Allah anymore, and I've found my way with ________(put in any religion of choice)", then fine. I hope they'll truly find themselves. We can scream and join rallies, burn flags and diss all murtads, it's not going to help. When in threat, people retaliate. And often in a negative way.

One question that has been haunting me : Why is it praised when someone of another faith converts into Islam, but Muslims who converts to other religions are condemned to hell? Prophet Muhammad s.a.w showed compassion and tolerance to the non-Muslims of his time. Even those who were bent on wiping off all Muslims of the world. Why are we not taking heed of this? We grew up with one of the main fundamentals of Islam instilled in our minds and hearts - Tiada paksaan dalam beragama. So why are we forcing people to do so? Allah Subbahana Wata'ala, or Jesus Crist The Lord, or Buddha, or all the gods of our beliefs will surely punish those who have sinned when we're being judged in our afterlife, right?

Entahlah.
Saya ni tak cukup pandai untuk bercakap lebih lanjut tentang isu ni. Saya tak cukup intelek. Saya tak ada phd atau masters. Dan saya tak hafaz Al-Quran.
Hish... I just hope that this gets done, if not resolved, soon.

Anyway, I thought the response given by Dr Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas, the director-general of the Institute of Islamic Understanding Malaysia (Ikim) on the current issue was quite good. I should thank him for saying them out. I've always somehow felt the same, but didn't know howw to put em in words.

Read on.


Ikim DG: Malays are Muslims first
Claudia Theophilus
Aug 24, 06 2:07pm



The Malays in Malaysia are Muslims first, else they won’t be Malay by definition, declared Dr Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas, the director-general of the Institute of Islamic Understanding Malaysia (Ikim).

The Federal Constitution, he said, clearly defines a Malay as, inter alia, “a person who professes the religion of Islam, habitually speaks the Malay language, conforms to Malay custom”.

“Without being a Muslim, a Malay is not a Malay. The Malay language, which gives the Malays identity, comes from the Quran,” he said in response to whether a Malay has a right to renounce Islam during in a three-hour interview recently.

“The Melayu is defined as first being a Muslim and because he’s a Muslim, he follows the customs and traditions of the Malays which are derived from Islam, followed by the language of the Malays which (also) derives from Islam.”

Syed Ali, 41, who took office last year June, said that changing a language leads to an identity crisis because thoughts and speech are influenced by language and surroundings.

“In the case of the Muslims, when you change the language you invariably change the way they think and similarly, the way they think then will be duly influencing their own language.”

He said the definition of Malay being Muslim first, the customary practices and the language was included in the Federal Constitution by Onn Jaafar, the founder and first president of the United Malays National Organisation (Umno).

“It was a correct definition. Just that element of defining the Malay itself is a very important thing for Malays. I would think that Umno would be very interested in this,” he said, adding that Umno has not indicated so.

Malay dilemma
He noted that the identity crisis among Malays already existed decades ago.

“But it was not as apparent as (it is) today. In those days, the language was still purer than today. I’m sure there were some simmering undercurrents but in my personal opinion, I don’t think that the situation in those days was worse than today.”

He said Islam’s special place in the constitution was with good reason - to provide an established value system.

“You cannot deny that the ethical moral principles of government come from religion. And because Islam is already complete, it is used as the official religion with which to then derive the system of the constitution.

“Whether or not it is relevant or manifest today is another question altogether but that will be the intention to have a good system, so when you talk about human rights everyone has equal right to water, electricity, schooling. All this is already contained in Islam.”

Presently, Malaysia is saddled with the burden of a rising tension level between Muslims and their fellow non-Muslim Malaysians following social injustices highlighted in the cases of S Shamala (conversion of children) and M Moorthy (religious status).

To a suggestion that prevailing government policies and implementation were part of the problem, accumulated over time, that had led to dissatisfaction among non-Muslims, Syed Ali agreed that it was a recent development.

“A slow decline towards ignorance is causing this. If it is a racial issue, then the responsibility lies with those who have assumed the mantle of authority who are themselves not authorities. They are simply there by virtue of who they know not what they know.”

Unwelcome interference
Noting the recent social tensions, he asked why the non-Muslims were interfering with Islamic affairs.

“What I want to know is why are the non-Muslims involving themselves in this,” he said, noting attempts by non-Muslims to hype-up certain issues and turn them into test cases.

As far as freedom of worship is concerned, he said, there was no problem because non-Muslim Malaysians could worship wherever and whenever they wanted.

“If they start talking about structures... we want to build a temple here, build a church there, then that’s another matter altogether. That’s got nothing to do with freedom of worship.

He said Muslims should not be denied the right to discharge their responsibility to guide their wayward brethren back to the fold.

“If we know something to be true and we see one of our brethren is confused, we have every responsibility to try and convince that person that he or she is confused.”

On apostasy, a very sensitive subject in Malaysia, he said Muslims with proper understanding of Islam could never accept a situation of a fellow believer leaving the religion.

He asked if persons wishing to leave Islam were actually renouncing it because they no longer believed in the religion or because they were disillusioned with fellow Muslims.

“Which is it?” he posed, decrying non-Muslims interferences at the same time.

He also asked if people who intended to renounce Islam had gone through the syariah court procedures first.

Emergency law
Agreeing to a suggestion that the hudud, which he said was unsuitable for a society like Malaysia, was similar to an emergency declaration provided certain elements are present to warrant it.

“(This is) because one of the intentions of the hudud law in the beginning was to prevent the Arabs from going back to the mentality of the pagan tribes people.

“If the danger of Muslims becoming pagans existed today, then I would say apply it but this condition does not exist, so why speculate when there is no precedent.”

Asked on the exact moment that apostasy occurs, Syed Ali said it was dependent on one’s intent and action.

He also disagreed with a suggestion that a bad Muslim was more acceptable to Muslims than an apostate.

“I don’t think in either case, private or public, (it) is fine to leave Islam.”

He said it depended on the actions of a Muslim, on whether the act affects only that person or involved others for whom he or she would then have to bear responsibility as well.

Pending a landmark decision by the Federal Court is the case of Lina Joy, a Malay-Muslim woman seeking to delete the word ‘Islam’ from her national identity card after being baptised as a Christian in 1998.

In a general reference to it, Syed Ali said the court case had turned high-profile due to the sensation it has garnered.

“It (has come to this) because the ones who are supposed to be handling (such matters) in an amicable manner have not done their job properly, resulting in confusion and conflict.”

A series of public forums on freedom of religion by a grouping of women’s and human rights activists (Article 11 coalition) have angered many Muslims and provoked aggressive reaction from Muslim NGOs and opposition political party PAS on grounds that Islam is under threat.

Syed Ali believes that discussions on religious issues were making matters worse.

“This so-called vibrant, dynamic debate going on, I think, is doing more damage than good because the real voice of discernment and reason in these NGOs who are fighting is ignored.”

The voices of the knowledgeable people, he said, were drowned out by “the many who are activistic” and with clear vested interest.

Motif??!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

saya - El
Dia - janjenjari


Janjenjari:
Mak kachiwa nuks...

El:
Nape nape?

Janjenjari:
Bagaimana sajorz me nak lalui hari-hari mendatang...

El:
Ape sajerz masalahnya?

Janjenjari:
Hati mek dah pecak remukz mek digosip hebat

El:
Itulah.. sapa suruh main kayu tiga...

Janjenjari:
Aik..aps sajz kayu tiga? Ini kes lain nuks. Mek tak rela nak meneruskan hidup ini dalam blogspere sekarang..*gitu!*

El:
Jangan berteka-teki la... ape aje masalah ko ni? Kang aku sebut nama jantan ko kang marah pulak (senseng lengan)


Janjenjari:
Ade pulak kawan2 sepercikcuran ku ittew menggosipkan daku dengan... dengan...

El:
Brad Pitt? Johnny Depp? Latoya Jackson?

Janjenjari:
Latoya? Ape sajerz?? (Ye la Latoya tu badam macam jejanz..tapi mak taste abang2 okay!)

El:
Abes?

Janjenjari:
Dengan kau nuks! Dia ingat kau ittew jejantz sajorz! Motifnyer, kau pengkid pun tidak, bukan gittew?


Statement ape ni?!
Hanjeng!!
*Angkat skirt terus lari*

GUYish or GIRLish?

Monday, August 21, 2006

This is ripped from Ayunami's blog without her permission. Haha.
Just tick the boxes that describes you, and then total em up according to the directions.

GUY-ISH:
[x] you own a jersey
[ ] you like being sweaty
[ ] you love mud
[x] you've played at least one sport on a team
[x] you've played more than 1 sport for fun
[ ] you hate pink
[x] you love hoodies and jeans
[x] pranks are fun (used to be... I kinda had to grow up hehe)
[ ] dogs are better than cats
[ ] it's funny when people get hurt

Total = 5

[x] shopping is torture
[ ] pulling heads off dolls isnt creepy..its fun
[ ] you don't cry
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] girl drama is stupid
[ ] painting your nails is weird/stupid
[ ] you own a ps2
[ ] you own an xbox
[ ] you own a gamecube
[ ] at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
[ ] you own a psp

Total = 1

[ ] you used to be obsessed with power rangers
[ ] you watch sports center
[x] you watch sports on tv sometimes
[ ] gorey movies are the best!
[ ] you aren't scared of anything
[ ] you take part in 'male bonding'
[ ] you only go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball caps
[] you aren't sensitive
[x] no pain no gain

Total = 1

[ ] you like going to football games
[x] night games rock
[ ] spiders and bugs are cool
[ ] you like to freak out your sister or brother
[ ] you used to or do collect baseball cards
[x] saggy pants are cool
[ ] you get sports illustrated/other sports/ guy magazine
[x] fire is cool
[ ] you don't babysit
[x] you're immature (some people say I am)

Total = 4

[x] its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green black red 0R blue or silver are your favorite color(s)
[ ] romantic comedies are boring
[ ] you hate dressing up
[ ] you don't care about your hair
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what people think
[ ] climbing is fun
[ ] contact sports like football are fun

Total = 3

Now add the numbers up x 2 and re-post with your score as: I'm __% GUYish


GIRL-ISH
[x] you wear lip gloss.
[x] you shop
[ ] you wear eyeliner
[x] you buy different colored shirts
[x] you wear halters and tube tops

total: 4

[x] you don't like shopping at hot topic
[ ] you wear the color pink
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black (black IS my FAV colour, thank you)
[ ] you love hanging at the mall

total: 1

[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] you like wearing jewellery
[x] skirts are a part of your wardrobe
[ ] you take a long time doing your hair
[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies

total: 2

[ ] you hate the movie star wars
[x] you cry in movies
[ ] you are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics, or dance
[ ] it takes you more than 1/2 hour to get dressed and put on other accesories
[x] you smile a lot more than you should

total: 2

Add them up, multiply them by 5, and post as I'm __% GIRL-ISH

So:
I'm 28% GUYish
I'm 45% GIRLish

WTF? The results doesnt tally.
What happened to the other 27%??!

Mai

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Maisarah tunduk mencangkung di tepi sungai. Kepalanya sekejap memandang arus deras sungai, sekejap menjenguk ke hulu.

"Ada bang?" tanyanya.

Saya dan Kasim berhenti menarik jala. "Macam tak ada," mulut Kasim mungil mengunyah sirih.

Kasim dah terbiasa mengunyah sirih. Dari zaman berlari togel pun dia dah pandai kunyah tembakau (bermula dari terjumpa tembakau neneknya). Sebab hendak Kasim berhenti mengunyah tembakau, bapanya memaksa Kasim mengunyah sirih. Walaupun usia Kasim baru 25 tahun, dia dianggap veteran dalam adat mengunyah sirih. Kalau ada orang nak bertunang, Kasimlah yang dicari. Kalau nak buatsirih junjung, rumah Kasimlah yang dituju. Pokok sirih berlingkar di depan rumah Kasim, hingga dia digelar Kasim Sirih.

Maisarah menggeleng kepala. Susah. Susah kalau tak jumpa. Mungkin bapa Maisarah tak bagi balik rumah. Jenuh pulak kalau Maisarah kena tidur di pangkin tepi dusun durian sebelah rumahnya. Semenjak dia pergi melihat pameran hantu di Muzium Shah Alam tempohari, dia sudah tidak sanggup untuk keluar di waktu malam.

"Aduih..macamana ni bang? Mati la aku kalau tak ada. Hang cuba kaut elok-elok, kot-kot ada tang dasaq tu!"

"Sabaq la Mai. Bukan senang nak cari macam ni. Kalau hang tak mau tunggu, hang mai kaut dengan tangan hang la," saya menjeling. Bukan mudah nak berdiri dalam air deras. Silap tahun mungkin saya tergolek dibawa arus.

Muka Maisarah masam mencuka. "Hang ni ikhlas ka dak?"

Belum sempa saya membuka mulut membalas, Kasim menahan dengan tangan di bahu saya. Dia menggeleng. Mungkin tahu yang rengek Maisarah tak berbaloi dilayan. Lagi dilayan lagi memekak.

Maisarah sudahpun bangun. Dia mula berjalan mundar mandir di tebing sungai. Mulutnya terkumat-kamit. Mengumpat la tu. Tak pun, risau memikirkan nasibnya.

Kasim sudah mula naik bosan menjala. "Ni, hang nak buat lagi ka? Aku dah malas nak buat dah. Dah hilang kot," usul Kasim pada saya.

Saya mengelap peluh yang dari tadi turun mencucur di dahi. Baju dan seluar dah basah. Badan dah berbau hanyir ikan. " Aku okay saja. Jomlah, lepaih maghrib depa dah bukak durian. Dah tak sabaq nak makan durian Balik Pulau ni!"

Saya dan Kasim melangkah memanjat tebing sungai. Jala kosong kami tarik bersama.

"Woi, pasai pa hangpa naik ni? Dah jumpa ka belum?" Maisarah dah menggelabah.

"Tak jumpa la Mai. Kami nak balik dah. Sat lagi dah gelap. Mai balik. Kita bagitau la kat bapak hang bagi jatuh dalam sungai," ujar Kasim sambil mengutip ikan yang diikat di tepi rumpun buluh. Kalau tidak diganggu Maisarah, tentu banyak ikan yang dapat dijala Kasim.

"Yana, hang biaq betui. Tolong la Mai..." mukanya sudah mula pucat.

Saya tak pandang mukanya. "Sorry la Mai, penat la."

Saya dan Kasim terus berjalan pulang. Dari belakang Mai tak berhenti mengomel. Kami malas nak melayan. Sudah pakai, pandailah menjaganya. Kali ini biar Mai tahu rasanya menggalas tanggungjawab keatas apa yang dilakukannya. Dah selalu sangat dia terlepas dari dimarahi. Kalau ada pokok di laman yang layu tak bersiram, Kasim dimarahi (berkebun kerja orang lalaki, kata Mai). Bila set pinggan kesayangan emaknya dipecahkan tanpa sengaja, disalahkan Tompok, kucing siam mereka yang gemuk dan malas bergerak. Selalu kepala Tompok disekeh emak.

Maisarah masih berbunyi di belakang kami. "Tak pa, hangpa takmau tolon aku la ni. Lain kali jangan cari Mai kalau nak mintak tolong." Bunyinya macam merajuk.

Kasim memandang saya. Kening diangkat. "Bukan pernah menolong pun," senyum makin melebar. Biar Mai ketar bila berdepan dengan bapak mereka nanti.

Azan maghrib mula berkumandang. Saya dan Kasim melebarkan langkah, diikuti Maisarah. Yang kian tersedu-sedu.


BERSAMBUNG...

Soalan Objektif Untuk Hari Ini

I sound stupid when I speak _____________________.

a. English
b. Jawa
c. Hindi
d. Hokkien
e. Thai
f. Tagalog
g. French
h. Korean
i. Tamil
j. Mandarin

But not Malay.
Haha.

Ahad: zairul & nurul

Monday, August 14, 2006

"Mana pengantin ni..." kata adik kecik sambil menarik (atau mungkin menyeluk) sampin bapak dia.

Dah sampai (I love the white ensamble! Jarang orang buat)


Tu dia pelamin. Patutlah pakai putih...


Trying hard to buat muka poyo pasal ade kakak baju hitam asyik ambik gambar kitorang


Dah 3 tahun tak jumpa Zairul. Nampak dah berisi sikit. Tapi seperti lebih matang. Matanya bagai bicara yang dia sudah bersedia. Dah meninggalkan alam riang-ria dan kini dah tiba masanya untuk menggalas tanggungjawab besar. (tidak seperti saya yang masih macam budak-budak )

Memang Zairul & Nurul sepadan. Secocok. Bagai pinang di belah dua.
Saya gembira sangat bila tengok Nurul dan Zairul serasi. Saya tumpang gembira untuk Zairul. Baguslah, dia dapat isteri yang cantik, bijak dan sungguh memahami dirinya. Memang bertuah.

Saya pun senang dengan Nurul. Walaupun kami tak pernah berjumpa sebelum ini, saya rasa macam sudah lama mengenalinya. Congrats Zairul, you got one heck of a gem! Jaga dia baik2!

Walaupun saya dilantik sebagai jurukamera rasmi majlis tersebut, saya cuma sempat mengambil beberapa keping gambar untuk digicam saya. Kepingan yang beratus2 saya ambil dengan kamera SLR dah saya berikan pada Zairul untuk develop. Jadi maaf kalau gambar tak cukup memuaskan.

edited: yes, that's SLR without the 'D' you so often see now. Matilah Zairul nak develop al the negatives  ;P

Teori kawen lambat

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

"Jadi, bila lagi kau pula nak kahwin?"

Saya hanya mampu ketawa bila rakan saya mengusul soalan itu kepada saya semalam. Dia bakal bersanding hujung bulan ini. Kami berjumpa kerana dia hendak memberi saya kad jemputan.

"Bila, Ly? Ko tu bukan muda lagi," tambahnya.

Wah, 24 itu dikira tidak muda? Seingat saya lah, orang di zaman nenek saya yang berkahwin awal. Tahun 60an, 70an, 80an semuanya lebih suka berkahwin dalam lingkungan 24-30 tahun. Lihat saja mak bapak kita. Ibu bapa kawan-kawan saya rata-ratanya dalam lingkungan usia yang sama. Selalunya pabila sesuatu masyarakat itu semakin berkembang (baik intelektual, budaya mahupun ekonomi), kita akan lebih receptive terhadap pemikiran moden. Kalau diikutkan dengan nisbah kebarangkalian mengikut unjuran masa, pasangan zaman millenia hanya akan mengikat janji dalam usia 27-35 tahun. Tapi kita di Malaysia nampaknya dah menukar pola jangkaan dengan berkahwin awal seperti nenek moyang kita. Bezanya kita tak kahwin dalam kemban, dan kita tak jemput sekampung makan pulut kuning. Kita kahwin pakai songket tatah berlian(palsu) dan sanding di Dewan Majlis Perbandaran ________ (sila isikan ikut majlis bandaran anda) diiringi sesi karaoke oleh pakcik-makcik bersuara sengkak. Itu aja. Hah.

Nampaknya teori unduran masa memang benar-benar berlaku. Dunia akan melalui satu 'lubang masa' yang akan mengitar semula ideologi-ideologi lama. Sesuatu tamadun itu, selepas melalu fasa revolusi pemikiran,akan tiba di satu persimpangan dimana semuanya akan menjalani pengunduran. Tempoh unduran bergantung pada sesuatu budaya itu. Di negara barat ianya mungkin lebih cepat, dalam 30-40 tahun (kerana kadar perkembangan mereka amat laju), manakala senario tempatan mungkin dalam 50-60 tahun.


Kitaran yang popular tidak semestinya bagus. Banyak juga yang entah apa-apa. Contohnya:

Bagus:
Lebih suka makanan semulajadi (yang ditanam) atau diternak.

Buruk:
Obsesi terhadap seluar tights warna neon dipadan dengan t-shirt kolar luas dan reben senget di rambut (sila jengah ke Sungei Wang untuk maklumat lanjut)

Bagus:
Hiasan ruang lebih natural dari futuristik, dengan pepohon hijau sebagai tema.

Buruk:
Kembali kurang ajar dengan memaki hamun dan menekan hon bertalu-talu bila memandu bila di jalanraya.
(eh, yang ni tak pernah berubah kan? Eheh. Silap ruang.)



Jadi saya tidak seharusnya hairan jika kawan-kawan saya semuanya rasa mereka sudah berada di tahap prime untuk duudk di jinjang pelamin. Walau bagaimana pun, teori unduran masa juga menyatakan yang bukan semua orang akan melalui proses kitaran ini. Ada yang akan terus mara ke depan, dan ada yang akan urus sederhana pergerakan evolusinya. (Saya dalam golongan ini agaknya)

Saya harap saya tak perlu gusar jika masih belum berkahwin bila menjejak usia 25 nanti. Ada kawan yang dah panas punggung, tapi bagi saya apalah gunnya nak kahwin awal tapi wang belanja ambil pinjaman (atau lebih memalukan, pinjam duit mak bapak!). Kalau majlisnya pun anda tak mampu nak bayar sendiri, apa buat anda fikir anda boleh menanggung makan minum dan keperluan harian pasangan anda?

Dan berbalik pada soalan Naey semalam - bila?

Jawapannya - "Kau carikan aku calon best dulu lah."

Ameen.
Heh.

Tak gumbira

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Sebenarnya...hish...sebenarnya....
Biarlah saya berterus terang sahaja.

Sebenarnya saya benar-benar berat hati ke PTD. kata mak, "I can give you ten reasons why you should go.". Tapi saya juga punya 10 sebab mengapa saya rasa sangat berat untuk pergi:

1. Saya sudah selesa dengan jawatan sekarang.
Memang betul. Walaupun kadang-kadang terasa rutin, tapi saya sukat atmospherenya di sini. Kerjanya sungguh AdHoc, tapi semuanya bagai cabaran buat saya untuk sentiasa mencuba beri yang terbaik. Walaupun saya rasa I can get better pay elsewhere, saya tak harus tamak. Pengalaman berkerja pun masih ciput jadi saya perlu melangkah perlahan-lahan.

2. Jika saya penat buat copywriting, saya boleh berhenti dan cuba bidang lain.
Radio, Journalism atau PR. Atau apa-apa saja yang terasa nak buat. Saya beri masa 2 tahun lagi untuk saya di tempat kerja sekarang. Klaau saya masih di sini 2008, dan saya macam nak buat benda lain, then I will. Kalau tidak, saya tak kesah dengan apa-apa sahaja yang tuhan berikan.

3. Jika saya ke PTD, maknanya saya perlu lenyapkan impian saya untuk mencuba pelbagai bidang lain.
Macamana saya nak suka-suka buat part-time DJing atau writing kalau saya sudah ke PTD?

4. Berkerja dengan Gomen ibarat saya merelakan diri saya diubah menjadi seorang MBTD.
Melayu Berangan Tak sedar Diri. Maaflah kalau ada antara anda yang berkerja dengan kerajaan, dan anda bukan MBTD (Walaupun ramai MBTD yang takkan mengaku.) . Berapa ramai anntara kita yang dah melalui pengalaman 'ngeri' bila berkomunikasi atau berurusan dengan badan-badan kerajaan tertentu?
Saya bukan berkata sekadar tanggapan sahaja. Memang saya dah saksikan dan lalui sendiri. Pengalaman saya dengan JPJ? Horrornya macam masa Sadako mula-mula turun tangga dalam Ju-On. Not exactly what I call a breeze-through holiday. Saya pernah berkerja dengan pihak-pihak tertentu di 'saluran inforia anda', dan Masyaallah... saya harap saya tak perlu berkerja dengan mereka lagi. Bukan semua orang di situ yang teruk, tapi majoritinya memanglah MBTD. Komitmen tidak jitu, kualiti kerja hampeh. Lepas tu berangan dialah yang paling hebat, dialah yang paling penting.
Muka seko-seko macam "Kalau aku tak layan ko, sampai mampus pun ko takkan dapat ape ko nak. So kipas bontot aku sekarang!"
PRnya? Ish ish ish... kalau saya jadi menterinya, dialah orang pertama yang saya pecat. PR sepatutnya buat orang sukakan sesuatu organisasi, bukan benci. Sabrina G., you desperately need an attitude makeover, pronto..

5. Di bahagian dresscode dalam surat Assessment PTD, ia menyatakan "Seluar Panjang Tidak Dibenarkan".
Apejadahnye? Saya Ingatkan sebagai bahagian yang menguruskan PTD, mereka akan bersikap lebih terbuka dan lebih professional. Ala2 corporate thinking. Malangnya saya salah. Kerajaan tetap kerajaan. Buatlah apa pun, tetap begitu. Saya amat kecewa bila membaca dresscode tersebut.

6. Tempat Assessment PTD saya adalah di Kluang, Johor.
Amboi...bukankah kita dah isikan pusat pilihan kita untuk sebarang peperiksaan, temuduga dan assessment? Jadi mengapa sampai Johor? Dan tarikhnya aduh...di kala saya banyak kerja!

7. Saya rasa macam terpaksa pergi PTD kerana semua ahli keluarga dan makcik-pakcik semua tak sudah sudah suruh saya ambil peluang ini.
Sejak dari dulu, saya memang lebih cenderung ke perkara yang lain dari biasa. Bukan nak kata yang biasa tu tak bagus, tapi entahlah. Mungkin lain dari yang lain bagi comfort. It's like I'm in my own warm world. jadi bila semua dok membebel pasal kelebihan berkerja dengan kerajaan berbanding swasta, saya jadi penat. Apatah lagi bila saya perlu membela sektor korporat yang pada saya memberikan bayaran yang lebih lumayan dan imbuhan yang berpatutan untuk kita terus kreatif menggunakan competitive edge dan memupuk sifat disiplin yang tinggi dan lebih bersungguh. Bila di swasta, kita perlu membuktikan yang kita layak. Kita perlu berusaha untuk mengecapi sesuatu. Dan bagi saya, wang ringgit yang saya dapat setelah penat berusaha adalah lebih bermakna dari gaji yang dikaut dengan duduk di kaunter bermuka masam sambil mengumpat bos. Which brings me to my next point, which is...

8. Saya bakal menjadi klon!!!
Saya memang takut kalau bila saya dah masuk kerajaan nanti, saya akan terpersuade untuk menjadi seperti mereka. Perangan sama, perasan sama, lagak gaya sama. Seorang lagi Zombie MBTD.


9. Kemana impian saya untuk mengeluarkan album jazz sendiri?
Ya...bunyi berangan sangat (adakah ini tanda-tanda awal MBTD?!). Tapi saya tahu saya takkan jadi penyanyi yang berjaya. Tak ada sesiapa yang hingin mengeluarkan album jika saya penyanyinya. Tapi saya boleh rakam sendiri kan? andai saya terpilih untuk PTD, maka saya tentu tak dapat berjimba-jimba lagi. dan saya tak rasa bos saya kelak mahu seorang exec atau pegawai yang siang di pejabat, malam menyanyi.
Kambing btol!

10. Say takkan punya masa untuk update blog ini lagi.

There you go. 10 very valid reasons on why i don't feel like going to PTD.
Tapi saya tahu, ramai diantara anda diluar sana yanng melonjak-lonjak nak jawatan ini tapi tak dapat. Dan anda fikir "Bodoh punya budak. Dah dapat nak tolak pulak! Tengok kitorang yang nak sangat tapi tak dapat. Bodoh!"